1/24 - Valley
North/south escapes.
1/25 - Downtown
Double-under pass and passing inverted guard.
I'm in a bit of a slump today, not sure why. My Valley instructor did his best to just hand me my ass yesterday, and then got up and didn't even so much as say "Thanks for the roll" or anything to that effect. Meh.
Today, the downtown class was going well though my body was a little funky from a morning espresso. In between rolls at the end of class, I looked around and had the realization that I was the worst student there. Out of the ten people in class, I'm the one who is going to get dominated by everyone else. After pursuing this art for over 3yrs, that's pretty humbling. Most days it's not a thing, but sometimes it makes my ego and confidence go right down the toilet. Out of all the regulars that attend classes throughout the week (~20 or so), I can impose my game on about two of them. Bah.
I was talking with some friends this morning about how I enjoy BJJ and I'm looking forward to competing against people my size and skill level. But dude...do I have to drive (or fly) at least 4hrs away just to roll with people that are in my realm? FFS. And if I do lay an egg during competition, am I going to start questioning the value of getting crushed on a daily basis (more so than I am now)?
It's character building to be the underdog, to work hard on things that don't come easy to you...that is all very well and good...but dammit, I want to be GOOD at something at some point in my life. Constantly striving just to meet the tiniest goals (Oh boy, I had a successful upa!) is just frustrating as hell. Getting choked and triangled and kimura'd and crushed in side-control all the f'n time just gets old. Having a completely defensive game sucks. It's like I've been doing this for a piece of time and nothing is coming of it, other than I'm a grappling dummy for my teammates. I like the guys I train with, but maybe there are other pursuits out there where I can feel like I'm making some damned progress.
I'm probably just having a bad day, and I'm sure this will pass. If I didn't have the tournament coming up next week I'd take a week off from BJJ. I've been going pretty hard at it for the past 3mos and maybe my mind just needs a break.
2 comments:
And if I do lay an egg during competition, am I going to start questioning the value of getting crushed on a daily basis (more so than I am now)?
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YMMV, but I would caution against getting too hung up one way or the other on comp results (esp the results of a SINGLE comp). There are just too many factors involved, many of the largest being things that you can't do diddly about no matter how hard you work (luck of the draw, Aunt Flo arrives that morning, crappy reffing). If you bomb at comp it doesn't necessarily mean you suck, and if you kill everyone it doesn't necessarily mean you're a rock star.
The most significant challenge of BJJ, IMHO- especially for those of us who aren't the perfect/ideal physical specimen for the sport- is persistence. Pushing through those "Everybody can kick my ass and I'll never be any good at this" periods.
Thanks Kitsune, I appreciate it.
I know it's a passing thing, part of the ebb and flow of training. When it comes down to it, winning or losing in competitions isn't going to make or break my attitude. I'm just yearning to roll on a more regular basis with people who are my approximate size and skill level. Need to keep things in perspective, and let time and experience do their work.
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